At dawn, my eyes and heart saw the sunrise from the East, and the full Moon rose in the West, powerful as always. The sky’s colors and the loud joyful birds chirping brought me closer to the Spirit of Mamita Virginia. I say her name; I smile as beautiful memories rush up through my body from reminders that I exist because of her. I say her name so her Spirit can continue guiding me towards walking my paths, my journeys, and my stories towards a collective consciousness.
Mamita taught me about Metzi Power (aka Moon phases), during all the trips and trails we walked together. Those early journeys in the Mountains of Chalatenango were powerful teaching moments. As a child, my curious Spirit supported me to absorb as much of Mamita’s teachings and wisdom. She was passing on what she inherited from our ancestors. These elements would serve me for survival, but especially for adaptation and abundance of life. Her teachings prepared me in reconnecting with my path to liberation wherever life would take me.
“Munus,” she would tell me. Hurrying me as it was the right time to start walking, usually as early as five in the morning. I don’t remember resisting. I trusted her. She was home, she smelled like home, she was centered and strong as my home is becoming. “Remember,” she told me over and over, “when you look up at the sky and see the Moon which is our Light in the darkness, remember that she always will be with you and this means that I will always be walking with you, even if you don’t see me physically”.
Today at dawn, Mamita’s beautiful smile was reflected in the universe. I saw her when I heard the birds singing, I saw her reflected in the Moon, I saw her while walking – reminding me that the ocean of life may feel very hard to swim in some days but there are always great possibilities ahead. So, I heard her voice, whispering “child, remember to be patient, trust the process”.
Mamita Virginia taught me how to read, write, pray, and the importance of rituals as a discipline. She loved me and my siblings unconditionally. Her love is still ingrained within my Spirit. She made me feel that I had Medicine within. Due to all these teachings, I was able to skip the second grade in school. Of course, it was the teacher’s decision, my mother and I did not have a say. Though, it also brought lots of hard consequences. I grew up feeling the pressure “to have it all together”.
I remember coming to Mamita with my math homework, discussing how I resisted the ways this subject was taught. Math cannot be limited to a logic subject but a skill-set that connects to our personal lives and life’s complexities. Also, to be taught in a way that embraces kids’ various knowledge, wisdom, passions, and learning styles. Math must be a creative co-learning process.
“I can’t master multiplications, I can’t understand the ways they are supposed to work,” I would tell Mamita. And with a tender voice, she would sit next to me and say, “Why are you in such a rush?” “Why do you feel the need to get it right so soon?”
“Because there are new topics and lessons the teacher will be sharing and I don’t want to fall behind,” I would reply.
“Erika, you will have a year and lifetime to learn all the lessons, there is no need to anticipate, you will always find a way to get where you need to go, you will follow your path,” she stated. Mamita never judged me, she smiled at me, and she put her arm around my shoulders.
Every time I faced a challenge in my journeys and started anticipating, it only exacerbated my anxieties. So, I came to use her mantra as my daily practice of going one day at a time. Most importantly, to realize that there are many underlying and limiting beliefs I’ve internalized to be “my truths” but in fact, they are the opposite of my Spirit’s Divine truth. I am a Medicine Human. I am Love. I am abundant.
This morning at dawn, I gave myself permission to put my life in perspective, instead of fixating on all the systems in place that cause me an internalized overwhelm. I chose to look up and find answers not with my intellectual body but with my Spiritual body that had the power to connect all the dots in my life’s puzzle at this moment.
Today I allowed myself to see with my Soul and experience júbilo and love as I am nurtured by Mother Earth and by my ancestors, day by day. In the past few years, I’ve been navigating many borders imposed. Living in a country with an immigration status which does not allow me to seek employment has been a challenging creative transformative process.
Unemployment for me is a temporary reality that has unveiled [during the quarantine] an opportunity to work abundantly towards long-term material stability. I deserve to be paid doing what I am passionate about and unapologetically be the embodiment of my vision. I am moving away from the limited belief of scarcity thinking, which capitalism has instilled in me. I am abundant. I carry powerful Spiritual wealth. I am whole.
Being unemployed has offered me the space to deepen my Spiritual awareness and find clarity of making my entrepreneurship creative so it works for me. May I continue to align and access my Solar/Masculine Power and Lunar/Feminine power beyond gender constructs and categories.
I am humbly in so much gratitude with the Divine in all the Moon, Sun, Mother Earth, the Eclipses of the Cosmos because I am re-birthing to re-earth Spiritually.
What are the limiting beliefs that your past experiences have instilled in you?
What are the self-love practices and rituals that support you to be in alignment with your Spiritual creative vision?
How are you aligning your Healing journeys toward a vision for collective liberation globally?
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