I was taught to have a toxic relationship with money during childhood. In the intergenerational conditioning the systemic projected belief was that being impoverished was a “choice” people make. This socialization clouded my perception to minimize my creative power as a woman. I learned that only “men” could access “real” money.
All of that felt very painful in my body. Even if my verbal communication skills were not developed, my intuitive non-verbal communication skills were heightened at that age.
In 2018, a sacred invitation to go inward was sparked by grief. The Mystery was pushing me to dig deeper into my relationship with money and how to UNDO that unhealthy pattern rooted in scarcity thinking. In 2020, the opportunity to embody my vision came, and then again, the global pandemics invited me/us to PAUSE.
Scarcity for me meant letting outside projections infest my sacred energetic spaces. How many of you have experienced BURNOUT throughout your life? For me Depression has been the outcome. Depression as in, a disconnection of Spirit from the Body and mind. As in neglecting my basic longings by letting fear, anger and grief take over my Being.
Reflecting on the recent past, I have realized that:
- Fear of Death has enacted a need to control everything. Once I integrated Death as part of Life, I was able to reconnect with my Sacred dance of body, mind and Spirit.
- Entering the Waters of Self and lineages has enacted healing. Walking the labyrinth of Self and befriending and setting new spiritual boundaries with the Ego has been an opportunity to integrate the Shadows and Lights of my existence with unconditional love.
- Bathing in the powerful Pleasures of my innocence has enacted creativity. Writing has been the ancestral sacred tool that has supported me to embody change and walk toward my vision. I am able to let go of perfectionism and the toxic conditioning inherited, so that I can create to earn abundantly while respecting my sacred rhythm.
- Acknowledging myself in the Experiences of Beloved Communities and recognizing each other as Mirrors has been a pillar toward internal decolonization.
I have so much gratitude with the Untold Stories of Liberation and Love collective. We are keepers of ancestral poetic storytelling. Julie Quiroz, Tanya Reza, Catalina Rios, Desirae Simmons, and Maria Ibarra-Frayre are some of the birth keepers of poetic spaces for BIWOC peoples in Michigami. It is an honor to have co-created the anthology “Love & Other Futures.” This book is a collection of poems written by womxn of color who embody poetry as a sacred ritual to bridge our past with the future as we birth stories in the present. Plus there is a section with some poems translated to Spanish, in honoring children of the Latinx-American diasporas.
The sacred PAUSE that we experienced globally last year, was a poetic call from Mother Earth and the Great Mystery to go inward, to descend to pay attention. We have experienced loss together. We now are more aware of our interdependence.
How poetry supported me/us during the last thirteen moons?
- By re-imagining ways of Being together virtually. Poet Julie Quiroz, invited us to write poems that would record our weekly experiences. We received a weekly prompt from our ancestress Poets. In reverence of their work, we inspire ourselves to write and write.
- On week 1: one of the first poems written by Maria Thomas was “Rubberbands” a powerful reminder of our interconnection.
- On week 2: one of the poems that touched my soul deeply was written by Leseliey Welch: “Descendants.”
- On week 7: The poem “Whispers Travel Best Through Silence” written by Desiraé Simmons, made me feel the AWAKENING through the stillness.
- By Evolving the Birthing of Poetry through group Dialogues.
- We co-created a 4-part podcast titled “Our Stories Did Not Begin With Pain.” This podcast explores the following themes: Intergenerational connections; Emotional freedom space, and Space for women of color to be our authentic selves.
- By embodying our Sacred creative power’s value and letting us receive abundant compensations for the Labor of Love that writing poetry represents. As Keepers of Poetic Storytelling and Futuristic Healers we DESERVE to be compensated for the work we do, especially as we co-image, co-create the roads toward the World we envision for our Descendants. We have got to feed ourselves now!
- COMING UP SOON: Untold Stories for Liberation & Love collective will be publishing a community zine with selected poems! Visit our website to stay tuned with our poetic birthings. You can listen to Connstynce Chege speak part of her poem in this radio interview.
So, what better way to celebrate this Full Moon than with a poem as expression of gratitude!
This poem is an invitation to embody the roads we are making as we walk the Sacred Unknown. This poetry is an invitation to move away from what is not working and instead embody what we envision. As we do, let’s remember to breathe in and breathe out.
How are you re-writing your story?
How are you allowing this global PAUSE to create your most authentic Self in body, mind and Spirit?
Copyright © 2020-2021, Erika Murcia | All Rights Reserved